Shorts disaster

Bloody hell. I finished my shorts and they're shit. Look:

Side view isn't too bad...










But from the front they look ridiculous. I think my hem goes up too much at the sides, the material is a bit too stiff for the baggy, pleated cut. And my spindly, knobbly-kneed legs look stoopid.

I'm getting to the point now that if I have another sewing fail I'm seriously going to have consider sticking the Phantom Foot Pedal machine in the skip and burning my Burdas.
But... I have a plan...